so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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