D3 body, D1 cock
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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