it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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