yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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