When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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