today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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