Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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