Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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