What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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