first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
