your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
