we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
