I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
