It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
