I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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