The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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