Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
