im about as happy as oj after his trial
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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