You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
