Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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