Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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