Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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