i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
