remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
