Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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