these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
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There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
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Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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