i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
