I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
