i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
