Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
