you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
