She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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