So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
