idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
