She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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