okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
