Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
