so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
