y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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