508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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