So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
