pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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