When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
