yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
