never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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