I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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