Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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