So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
