I love black thongs
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
