her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
