Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
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The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
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You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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