It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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