i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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