If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
