OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
