And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize