Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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