just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize