kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
