do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
