OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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