Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
