The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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