When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
