our cab driver is having phone sex.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
