I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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