dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize